Top 5 Movie Quarterbacks Of All-Time

Top 5 Movie Quarterbacks Of All-Time

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The Top 5 Movie Quarterbacks Of All-Time.

The top movie Qbs, of all-time, is something that will be continually debated, and so, I have elected to stake my football reputation, to give you the definitive list, in the hopes of briefly entertaining you.

[Warning–This article contains spoilers.  It also includes movie clips that, when watched, do/may contain some salty language and violence.]

[Additional Warning–If you expect this list to glorify Adam Sandler as a QB, then you’re going to be sorely disappointed. This is a serious list, for serious movie football fans.]

Top 5 Movie QBs Of All-Time

#5  Flash Gordon: Flash Gordon

Flash Gordon, quarterback, NY Jets.

As the clip below clearly shows, Flash was an early pioneer in the legitimization of running QBs, for the NFL.

Not only could he destroy Ming The Merciless’ universally renowned, defensive units, by bowling through them, he also can throw watermelons with deadly accuracy within a ten-yard radius…something Tom Brady, with all his fancy Super Bowl rings, has never shown he could do.

In addition, Queen, the legendary band, did the equally legendary soundtrack for the movie [Side note: How can you have a Queen biopic movie, and not have any Flash Gordon songs in it. Not one? Criminal, just criminal].

#4 Jimmy Dix: The Last Boyscout

Jimmy Dix, one of the top QBs in the NFL before being thrown out of the league because of free agency ruining the game, but really mostly for doing drugs; Dix’s arm is so powerful and accurate when he’s throwing a football, that he literally stops crimes from being committed with a flick of his wrist.

Dix’s high-powered arm defeats a high-powered rifle, mano o mano, to end the movie, when he tosses an amazing pass while riding a horse on the field, during the middle of a game!

Obviously, pressure does not affect Dix; he’s the ultimate gamer. He throws a perfect spiral AND solves crimes. You can see why he easily made this list.

 

#3 Johnny Utah: Point Break (The real movie, not the B.S. Millenial version from 2015).

I’m sure most of you would want Shane Falco, from The Replacements here, if we were going to be picking a Keanu Reeves QB movie; and, I admit, Shane Falco can throw a beautiful pass, but can he:

Surf huge waves after only a few lessons?

Skydive without a parachute?

Rob a bank, despite being an F.B.I agent?

Go toe-to-toe with not one, but TWO Red Hot Chili Pepper members?

For that fact can he fetch not one but TWO meatball subs for a starving Gary Busey?

Can he take down Patrick Swayze’s Brody, the most adrenaline amped, yet most zen movie villain of all-time?

No, to all of the above.

Only Johnny Utah, the former star quarterback from Ohio State (before he blew his knee out and missed his window to go pro), could do all those things and still kick ass in a pick-up game of football, on the beach.

He’s a top 5 all-time Qb in one of the top 5 action movies, of all-time. [Mic drop]

#2 Paul Crewe: The Longest Yard (again, the real version, not the floppy Adam Sandler version).

First off, let’s start with his name,  Paul “Wrecking” Crewe. Yeah, that’s pretty much the most badass, fake football player name, ever.

Played by Burt Reynolds (who actually played football at Florida State), Crewe played, and point shaved, in an era of the NFL, long forgotten.  The rules were limited, the hits were vicious, and the quarterbacks were allowed to throw pinpoint accurate passes at other players junk, and just laugh about it, despite the loss of a down.

Not only did he lead a practically talentless prison team (yeah, he a played IN PRISON, with other prisoners) to a huge win over the guards, while injured, he was nearly killed for doing so.

Whatever quarterbacks you’ve always thought were the toughest Qbs of all-time (Farve, McNair, Terry Bradshaw, Big Ben, etc.), those Qbs are like fluffy, strawberry ice cream cones compared to Paul “Wrecking” Crewe.

#1 Willie Beamen–Any Given Sunday.

This should come as no surprise, to anyone.

How iconic and good is Willie Beamen? He’s top of this list for a reason. Basically, any/every real-life NFL Qb that has wheels/can run and can throw any sort of decently accurate pass has been compared to this character:  Cam Newton, Mike Vick, Dak Prescott (who Jamie Foxx thinks is the closest thing to Willie Beamen, see tweet below), etc, and now, even Kyler Murray.

Beamen is the Alpha and the Omega.He is the movie quarterback that all real-life quarterbacks are measured against.

If Jerry West’s shadow is the logo for the NBA, then Willie Beamen’s song, “My Name Is Willie” should be played in every car, beer, or insurance commercial that are played, during the broadcasts of any/all NFL games. He’s the most pivotable, talented movie quarterback of all-time.

Great movie Qbs come only once or twice in a generation, and we were only blessed with one movie with Beamen in it, but that movie has changed the face of movie quarterbacks, forever.

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Honorable Mention:

Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass: Remember The Titans

This is a token throw-in for the Millenial crowd.

Ronnie “Sunshine” Bass had nice hair, knew some sort of martial arts (or was that just yoga) and had the athletic ability to flip a rushing defensive player over his back, before making a big throw.

Sadly, he was only a high school quarterback, so he doesn’t rate with the other, clearly superior, movie quarterbacks of all-time, listed above.

 

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